The Biggest Splash
July the Fourth of every year,
we have this one tradition:
we see who makes the biggest waves –
a splashing competition.
We gather ’round the swimming pool –
the cousins, nieces, brothers –
and judge who’s dive or belly-flop
out-splashes all the others
My sister makes the smallest splish
and mine is always larger,
but granddaddy defeats us with
his “super belly charger”.
But all last year, old Uncle Frank
had eaten jars of jelly
so he could add five hundred pounds
to his enormous belly.
When Uncle Frank stepped to the pool,
the family stopped speaking.
And when he waddled on the board,
I’m sure I heard it creaking.
and when he hit the water,
his splash soaked everybody there –
each nephew, aunt and daughter.
So Uncle Frank won this year’s bout,
since once his dive completed
he left no water in the pool…
We all agree he cheated.