1499 – Don’t Splash Me

Don't Splash Me

Fact: water rolls off a duck’s back because of oil in its feathers. The oil is in its feathers because it is constantly cooking bacon

I Hate Water

It sounds like I’m lying;
I promise it’s true:
I’ve never touched water before.
I’ve never tried crying,
or swam in the blue,
and showering seems like a bore.

I’ve never been wetter
than hot desert sand.
I’ve not even taken a drink.
The drier, the better
because I can’t stand
that stuff that flows into the sink.

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