1747 – Pig Plunk

Pig Plunk
Fact: pigs are excellent swimmers, but susceptible to sunburns.

The Biggest Splash

July the Fourth of every year,
we have a grand tradition.
We see who makes the biggest waves:
a splashing competition.

We gather ’round the swimming pool –
all cousins, nieces, brothers –
and judge whose dive or belly-flop
out-splashes all the others.

My sister makes the smallest splish,
and mine is always larger,
but granddad, he defeats us with
his “super belly charger”.

But all last year, old Uncle Frank
had eaten jars of jelly
so he could add a hundred pounds
to his enormous belly.

When Uncle Frank approached the pool,
I heard nobody speaking,
but when he waddled on the board,
I’m sure I heard it creaking.

He double-backflip-belly-flopped
and when he hit the water,
his splash soaked everybody there –
each nephew, aunt and daughter.

Old Uncle Frank won this year’s bout,
since after he’d competed
he left behind an empty pool…
We all agree he cheated.