Mister Melvin’s Mustache
Mister Melvin has a mustache
Oh, how on and on it goes
No he never bothers shaving
It just grows and grows and grows.
Mister Melvin’s Monster Mustache
measures ninety-nine feet wide.
There’s a flock of fifty finches
he allows to live inside.
He can wear it like suspenders.
He can use it like a rope.
It takes half a day to wash it
and a dozen bars of soap.
It’s a bow atop his noggin
when he goes out for a swim,
and you never will convince him
that it needs the slightest trim.