If My Cat Could Talk
I wonder, if my cat could talk,
exactly what she’d say
about her plans to hunt and stalk
and treat me as her prey.
“I’ll bite you when you’re unawares
with fine feline technique.
I’ll trip you when you’re on the stairs;
I love to hear you shriek.”
“I’ll give myself a manicure
and tear your clothes to threads.
I’ll mangle all your furniture
’till all that’s left are shreds.”
She’s devious, the little sneak.
I think she hates us all.
But if my puppy dog could speak,
he’s just say, “Throw the ball!”