I’ll Never Brush Again
I’ll never brush my teeth again
I choose to let them rot.
I’ll never floss my gruesome grin.
No thank you, I will not.
I’ll never gargle, swish and spit
to tame my nasty breath.
And I don’t care that if I quit
its odor stinks of death.
I think of all the time I’ll save
if I don’t have to brush,
and won’t my dentist rant and rave,
“Your teeth have turned to mush!”
Accuse me of depravity
“You’re such a slob!” you’ll shout.
But no one gets a cavity
if all their teeth are out.